Monday, May 29, 2006
_
sometimes, i have to give up on loving someone who doesn't love me back, not because i start to feel i'm hopeless, but because i run out of reasons to fight for what i really feel.(this what he 'said'.)
it is funny how often people give up on me. The 'reason' they always give me is even funnier.
They say they want me to be happy.They let go of me so i could go to another person who they believe could make me happy. They're very good friends, you see? They know what I myself don't.
But now, I know the real 'reason'. It's the reason of having no more reasons.
When they say they want me to be happy, i should have known they were just trying to be nice. They just want a graceful exit in one's life.
It's the reason of having no more reasons. I am not a reason enough.
How stubborn can i be, ha? How ugly? And how pathetic?
shit. I shouldnt sound this bitter. It makes everything funnier.
***
this is how i like to put it (to a certain extent) sometimes, i have to give up on loving someone who doesn't love me back, because i start to feel i'm hopeless.again, it is funny how without giving me reasons, other people can make me believe that there's a beautiful story between us, that there's something to remember, or hold on to.
:) a beautiful story i have no way of sharing with him; a memory i have no way of confirming whether it really happened; moments which keep on coming back to me (rather, which i keep on reenacting in my head) - but most probably not to him.
from the very beginning, i know all of these. but i keep on silently believing because i don't rely on reasons. (at least, those reasons that come from him)
so there's nothing he could do or could be to make me run out of reasons. But i lose hope.
Posted by tengcorrea at 5/29/2006 10:39:00 AM
4 comments