Monday, October 31, 2005

this is the ultimate homesick.

i miss home so much. i miss our house, by the beach - even if it is still cluttered and crowded. i miss my family - even if i sometimes (ok.. most of the time) act like a bitch towards them. i miss my high school friends who are there this sem break (and they just had their picnic and roadtrip yesterday). and of course, how can i not miss my special friend (haha,crappy term) who is to stay there until next next week, i guess.

i feel bad that i am here when i know that happiness is there. (wooww.. i wonder where that came from! bear with me, im just letting it all out - uncensored). our classes actually resume on the 14th but im freakin' early here because i joined this organization of student volunteers to help out in the registration process. and i boldly say that i regret my decision. that is no offense to the organization but it is just me. not that the people there arent nice or something, or that the work is too heavy or unbearable (well, at least, not yet since we are on preparation days still) -- but probably, the problem is on me. i am doing something that i really dont like so i am having difficulties appreciating all the good reasons why i am here (such as doing something productive na rin, for example)..

BUT..BUT.. yun nga lang. i dont get to be with my friends there. i actually am alone in the dorm (as in, all the dormers are still on vacation). i dont get to watch TV (yes, our TV is still the mini black and white TV). and worst.. i dont get to see and be with my happiness. (haha, you get this, right?)

anyway.. i made this commitment with the org and so i have to stick to it - despite the sacrifice. yeah. they say that's exactly what volunteerism and commitment entail.

**
on the lighter side.. i have my friends here in manila who i get to spend time with. jan2 and i attended mass in antipolo last saturday, right after my 5 pm dismissal from the prep day. on our way there, i couldnt help but be in awe of the overlooking view of the metro. astig. then we ate at burger king there (haha, dumayo pa talaga) and kuwentuhan, siyempre.

yesterday, pupung and i went to jan's place in vermont to watch movies. movie marathon, yeah! but unfortunately, we only got to watch two films - the terminal and love actually. blame pupung, haha. (joke). we got lost on our way there so we started watching at around 3 na rin. that was a funny experience but i unfortunately am running out of time now because i still have to get something in cubao.. details in the next post :)

okie., bye for now.

Posted by tengcorrea at 10/31/2005 11:12:00 AM

0 comments Monday, October 10, 2005

my philo prof saved my life.

before 1030 this morning. i thought i was going to die. not that it was my first time to have an oral exam.. but it is my first philo exam. besides, after the weird thoughts and feelings i had last night, nobody can just imagine the relief now.

i have this habit of setting that "if this happens, it is a sign that i do this". i know that many of you also do this --asking for signs -- i cant say signs from God because sometimes what you set to do after such signs is not of God's will. i am talking vague, again i know..

but yes, i was saved. i dont know up to when i can bear all of this.. this life.. this self..