Tuesday, January 29, 2008
This Saturday :)
Para sa taong excited sa event na to :)
Posted by tengcorrea at 1/29/2008 11:59:00 AM
A ‘Good time’ Week To Remember
(Hmm. I smell a happy entry. J So I was wrong then in saying that I only get to write whenever I’m sad. Hmm. Must have been the isaw and the dirty ice cream Yeye, Jan2 and I had in UP this rainy afternoon.)Jan 11, Reggae Friday à Jan 12 5AM Conversations (Lowell as the pasimuno, Zai, Yeye, Jan and Teng as the kaladkarins, and Rambo as the greater kaladkarin – nakasunod pa after 2 tiring gigs). Assembled in Gateway then off to Quattro Timog, but since Quattro was full that night – we went to Xaymaca instead. It was my second time to be there – the first one with Lowell and Veejay around two years ago. The set-up is different now – the tennis court which then used to be the ‘backstage’ is now where all the tables and chairs and the stage are. Hmm.. the space inside must have been small to accommodate the reggae-loving people. Brownman Revival was the performer for the night; and although not an authentic reggae fan, it was good to listen (and dance to) a kind of music different from what I usually get to listen to - the rather heavy metal (and emo/punk? – wah, I suck at genres!) to listen to in Freedom as well as from the mushy Tagalog movies OST songs I currently have been listening to in my ipod (One More Chance, yeah). Of course, that was the music plus the band vocalist who seemed pretty cute and mysterious with those sunglasses in the dark of the night.
Amid the music, I also had this really touching conversation with my friend. Finally, I heard from someone who understands (and speaks as if he is) the other someone. For some reason, his “steady ka lang” advice, no matter how obscure it is seemed to make sense to me then – especially with the really confused mode I was in that night. I really owe him a lot for everything he told me and did for me that night. Let’s just say that that night, he created the link between I and the person who could make me feel better.
Jan 15, Tuesday Freedom Night. Proceeded to my third home after watching I Am Legend (which made me realize that although horror movies do not really scare me – those with zombies or whatever you call those wild creatures creep me out). The usual- I came there not knowing if there is someone I know who would be there (except of course Lenard to bar guy who knows me already) – my habit of suddenly showing up in some places where I want to be. I also got used to going to that place to simply drink alone (and I drink more responsibly in such situation, hehe) and listen to whatever is there to listen to. Thank goodness Rambo was there – and his band did play (because even if his band is part of the so-called Tuesday group, there are days when they could not make it).
Most of the time, freedom nights are almost indeed freedom nights- in my own definition, that is (Oh well, there were and I expect that there would be exceptions of course). But this particular night was freeing. No, I wasn’t drunk – no hitting, no ‘free beer’ hirits to the owner, no dozing off. In the first place, drunkenness or even a slight buzz is not even part of the definition. I was in my consciousness. Natural highs indeed hit better.
Jan 16-17, Wednesday Beerday. In celebration of her 21st birthday (yay, one of the youngest in our batch. Hmmpp. I’m turning 22 this year, wah..), Zai (who is one of the main ‘organizers’ of this event), Lowell (who was wearing his “The secret to avoid hangovers, stay drunk” shirt which we bought in Gateway last Saturday), Jan2 (who now drinks! Yeah! and who already drank some before going there so during the second mug – he was saying no already, which made him “Bad Jan2”), Rambo (who surprisingly showed up after his I-have-asthma-attacks-so-I-couldn’t-go’ text messages) , Yeye (the celebrant of course, who we made to wait alone in Gateway L. Bad us), Jap (who followed after we had our first round of beer) and I spent the night of the 16th in Quattro. She was making parinig to me last weekend that we should plan a birthday surprise for her (hmm.. weirdness) but time constraints and lack of coordination among us (wehehe, bad friends) made us decide that we should just join her as she welcomes her BEERDAY – literally with beer (and some food on the side, of course.) Macho mugs, yeah. (hehe, or was it mucho? Whatever. There was much beer on a rather macho mug, anyway, hehe – around 2-3 bottles, I guess).
Plus, it was good timing that there was a band playing that night. (If I’m not mistaken, there is no band there on weekends). Zai and Ye even sang in front of us all! Wahaha, coolness. Ye ye ye, I said Hey! What’s going on? (Zai, if you’re reading this, don’t kill me) and Don’t stray, don’t ever go away (Hmm.. Ye? I’m safe. Ye doesn’t know about this blog). It was funny though that just like a manager who wanted exposure for her talents, I found out from Jan that I semi-grabbed the shirt of the vocalist of the band, somehow threatening him to allow my friends-slash-talents to sing. Haha! I don’t remember doing that! But I do remember hearing them sing. It was kind of weird (Maybe, Jan2 is lying, haha or is this called selective memory? J).
It was a happy night. Besides (and more than) the alcohol, I was with friends I am most comfy with. It was basically the same group that I went out with the previous Friday (at Xaymaca then after Brownman Revival’s set, in a grill place that stays open until 5 AM, hehe). Even if I became sluggish and even fell asleep during the latter part (at least, I was behaved according to Yeye), I really enjoyed the night J - especially with my good ‘ol friends’ singing. Because of that, I forgive them for stealing crisp 100s from my wallet. Haha, the ATM dispensed 100s na malulutong - parang pamasko :P). No, just kidding. It was really supposed to be my (and Zai’s) treat (ha! Working people). I was just trying to be escape by pretending to be asleep. Hehe, kidding again.
Jan 18, The Eighteenth + Second Freedom Night. Hmm.. my second Freedom night for the week – a rare event, hehe. I knew I just had to be there. I told myself that being there on that night has got to be the fruit of the stalking I did earlier that day plus it is the eighteenth – and the eighteenth means to me. The first hour did not turn out as ‘free’ as I expected but the wait and being made to feel like a less priority turned out to be worth it in the end. It was a relief to bravely say whatever I wanted to say with less care of how the other person would feel. And making it sound that I was angry to the point that he got mad at me, speaking to me louder and less calm than the usual. Talk about brutally honest conversations. Freeing.
Posted by tengcorrea at 1/20/2008 12:30:00 PM
I don't mean to write sad entries. i just write whenever i's sad
When will this end? I thought our decision to stop this is going to save me from all the unhappy thoughts. But for some reason, the painful reality has a way of getting to me.
Just like water trying to find its way to get into a piece of wood, eventually making it soft, until the sun dries it up and the spaces where the water used to flow become the very spaces that make it brittle.
I thought I am in control of this. So I just let the water flow. Because I thought its presence is going to do me good. Because I thought it would just pass by and I would not even notice that it was gone.
The water is now gone. And I noticed it. And I still could not let go of the almost eight months that it was with me.
Posted by tengcorrea at 1/13/2008 08:05:00 PM
Blank
The past days have been exhausting. Unexpected events brought me to this situation I thought I have always been in control of.
Surprises. The worst of them came to me recently. They make me want to shut down all my senses – my mind incapable of any thought, of any question; my heart numb to any emotion, my ears deaf to the painful truth my friends have to say to make me wake up, my memory failing to remember that night I read those sad words of an ending.
