Friday, October 31, 2008

How :(

How does one deal with rejection? How does one deal with endings? How does one learn to accept? How do I do this?

I've heard a lot of theories - and these I should have faith on since they came from people I trust, from people who may not know how it feels to be here -- but people who are sensitive enough to feel that I've fought hard enough and that going beyond that enough is extremely damaging.

But I do not know to start to even try living these theories. Wala akong kakampi. Kahit iyong mismong pinaglalaban ko -- wala na. But I don't know. There is this part of me that just would not quit. Ayaw niyang tumigil kahit hindi niya alam kung saan pa niya hinuhugot iyong mismong bumubuhay sa kanya.

Sorry? Please do not tell me you are sorry. I'd rather have you not say anything than say that.

Posted by tengcorrea at 10/31/2008 10:33:00 PM

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Happy thought

A comeback. This one's a happy thought. :) Finally heard from someone again. And I was happy because I did not wait for it but it just happened. I just love this friend of mine dearly. It used to be a friendship that hurt - but now, it still makes me cry but because I am happy. I am happy that despite the distance and the time - that 'something' is still there.

Posted by tengcorrea at 10/31/2008 10:06:00 PM

0 comments Monday, October 20, 2008

Going Asian ^-^

I watched this South Korean movie last night in Gateway Mall. It was one impulsive decision after an unproductive day at the office. Sometimes, dilly-dallying gives you gamut of emotions – of guilt, laziness, exhaustion blah blah. But in summary, it was not a good day – and so.. aware as I am of the ongoing Cinemanila Festival since last week – I tried to check out the sched online and decided to try the 930 PM screening of the SKorea movie.

“I’m a Cyborg But That’s ok” – For some reason, the title sounds very Asian, right? Well, it was a chance for me to go back to my Korean lessons (ha, my interest in the language was temporarily replaced by an interest in Japanese =p although after watching this film, interest was rekindled.)

As in my experience with most ‘indie’ films, there were scenes that I find disturbing. (Spoiler to those who intend to watch the movie--) For instance, there was this scene when Young-goon (the cyborg girl) was working in a radio factory wherein a voice-over was dictating the “steps” the ‘human machines’ are supposed to be doing (like check whether antenna is working, blah blah). Nothing unusual at first (although there seems to be something in ‘factory’ scenes that sort of freak me out, especially with humans ‘functioning’ like machines’) and THEN – the voice-over started instructing her to cut her wrist, put the open wire beneath her skin, secure the wire on the wrist with tape (3x!), then plug it in. And boy, she was damn obedient. So boom! She became a cyborg!

Then there were the ‘minor disturbing’ scenes – the gross ones like sharing dentures, eating raw liver, really zoom in shots of an eye, the back of a skinny girl (grrr.. the spine), fingers transforming into guns and killing all the white ‘uns (those in white uniform in the mental hospital), the cyborg licking a battery thinking it was her food.

But less the disturbing scenes – I love the human touch of the movie (quite ironic with the title). It was the friendship (or was it love) that developed between the cyborg and another mental patient (played by Rain – wah.. I didn’t expect him to be part of the movie. Hey, nice surprise. Never mind that he was scratching his butt many times in the film). With the boy believing that he can steal other people’s qualities, he stole Young-goon’s sympathy and sadness. That was when he started doing all the efforts to help her eat normal food instead of licking batteries.

I just thought that the idea of stealing other people’s emotions could be a noble thing. Would it not be great if we can take away whatever emotion we feel makes the ‘other’ suffer? I think at some point, we all have felt this desire to ‘own’ another person’s burden – especially if we see and feel how much such is weighing the other person down. Yes, it is insane – to desire something which we know is ‘normally’ unwanted (a sadistic act maybe) but maybe – that is where greatness begins. A great friendship. A great love.

So it is a cyborg movie but it was ok – more than ok J