Thursday, July 29, 2004
| teng may explode without warning |
| M EXPLOSIVE |
From Go-Quiz.com
yum, cravings..
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/29/2004 11:25:00 AM
i dont think it has something to do with getting up early to do our recording for our fil class ( a radio drama play) . i am a morning person and getting up early has never really been a problem.
i dont know. i just feel 'drained' the whole day. no, it has nothing to do with my 'diet' because i ate quite regularly today (banana and chocolates for breakfast; pasta and pizza for lunch (yum yum)-- c/o ceres and something for dinner -- i dont know yet what to eat)
NOW, im freakin' bored. i probably use this excuse of being bored as a way of escaping all those shitty readings, reports and researches i have to do. it's not like there's a paper due on monday, but i feel like i am 'saturated' with lots of things to do. all of a sudden, i have this feeling that i want to finish EVERYTHING (the reflection paper on film for comm 100; the written report and presentation plans for report on communications research, also for comm 100; the written report and plans for the presentation on passion and death of christ, for theo 121; the final research paper for comm 100-- as if that's hell possible) HELL, i remembered what i said in comm theory class when asked about the strangest thing about me, i said "i like to do research", haha, damn, sometimes, i can be a pretty good liar. it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy, i swear. i DONT like to do research. im sick and tired of reading, taking down notes and citing the sources. ARRGGHH..
ARRGHHH..
yun lang masasabi ko.
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/24/2004 07:00:00 PM
i dont think it has something to do with getting up early to do our recording for our fil class ( a radio drama play) . i am a morning person and getting up early has never really been a problem.
i dont know. i just feel 'drained' the whole day. no, it has nothing to do with my 'diet' because i ate quite regularly today (banana and chocolates for breakfast; pasta and pizza for lunch (yum yum)-- c/o ceres and something for dinner -- i dont know yet what to eat)
NOW, im freakin' bored. i probably use this excuse of being bored as a way of escaping all those shitty readings, reports and researches i have to do. it's not like there's a paper due on monday, but i feel like i am 'saturated' with lots of things to do. all of a sudden, i have this feeling that i want to finish EVERYTHING (the reflection paper on film for comm 100; the written report and presentation plans for report on communications research, also for comm 100; the written report and plans for the presentation on passion and death of christ, for theo 121; the final research paper for comm 100-- as if that's hell possible) HELL, i remembered what i said in comm theory class when asked about the strangest thing about me, i said "i like to do research", haha, damn, sometimes, i can be a pretty good liar. it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy, i swear. i DONT like to do research. im sick and tired of reading, taking down notes and citing the sources. ARRGGHH..
ARRGHHH..
yun lang masasabi ko.
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/24/2004 07:00:00 PM
:) * on a happy disposition * -- for some reason/s - ask my neurotransmitters, hehehe..
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/19/2004 03:45:00 PM
this is a 1903 painting (oil on panel) by pablo picasso called "the old guitarist." i first saw this from my new roomate khia. i love the painting. it seems to carry this certain sadness / feeling of isolation. well, i found out that it is really what picasso is trying to depict here through the use of "the color of melancholy" - which is blue.
i am not really an art person. but this painting just grabbed my attention the first time i saw it so i find it worth sharing. :)
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/16/2004 06:19:00 PM
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/16/2004 01:46:00 PM
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on the less emo side, (pampasaya lang!),thanks to psychology for giving me light (somehow) on how to understand all those depressive moods i've been having. hehe, science has explanations for those. depression have something to do (according to the neurobiological perspective) with low levels of norepinephrine and/or serotonin. hehe. this is probably an aftershock of that quiz bee we just had a while ago. yehey, our group (freud's angels) got 19 points! we missed the correct answer to the 2nd to the last question. nyek nyek. the 'boy-band' group (gelo, cj and paolo fabregas), hehe, won, by the way. :)
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im going to moro after this. hayy.. im really not in the mood to work out. hay, katamad!but still, im going.
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an update with the correl GA yesterday. well, it was fine. it's not that big GA. there were like 10 of us members there. giselle (the department's VP) is right when she said that in correl, "it's quality over quantity." what extra cool about it was that the venue was outside school and take note, in the house of COSA's president. we, pimps, are so speciaL hehe.
we even had free food - pasta, bread, iced tea and barbecue and M&Ms. of course, food is not that appealing to me. woaahh,, ok, i love food but i try to avoid it most of the time. i have a funny story to tell about that. eh di we were 'lined up' for the past, lester (the president), was the one getting the pasta for us. i didnt know that the pasta he was getting that time was for me so as he was about to put it my plate, i just sort of jumped, 'screamed'(?hehe),and pulled back my plate and blurted out "ang dami po!". buti na lang, hindi natapon they were 'shocked' by my reaction, of course, so was i. so i just had to explain to them that im on a diet. of course, i got the same reactions of WHYs but it's ok. hehe, lester said we'll just have to get our own, hehe. natakot ata?
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/15/2004 03:24:00 PM
i still havent finished reading the hand-out, by the way. and im afraid i wont be able to finish reading (with understanding, that is) because we have this department GA for cosa at 4:30 later. im wondering how things would turn out with the GA. it'd better be good, you know 'cause it would greatly be the determining factor whether i'd really 'devote' myself with the org. :)
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/14/2004 03:45:00 PM
There is said it. I admitted it.
I just realized recently that something really is wrong with me when it comes to the way I see myself – my physical self (yeah right, my body), that is and consequently then, with my eating habits.
I hate how I am these days. I hate it when I am too conscious of what I eat. I am more afraid that the people around me hate it more or hate me for being such a vain bitch – whose concerns are almost all about getting thin, diet, blah blah. It is also possible that some pity me for I seem to be missing the ‘goodness of life’, so to speak by depriving myself of all the delicious, tempting foods. They may also pity me if they think that I am having psychological problems, looking at me as someone who thinks that wholeness as a person could only be achieved by ‘being thin’.
If some people pity me, I pity myself more than they do. Every second of my consciousness, it’s like I am in an inner battle in which I am one of the enemies. I fight the urge to eat because I don’t want to get fat. At the same time, another part of me questions why I am scared of getting fat. then I try to rebuke that thought that I am really scared because I don’t want to believe or entertain the idea that something is or might be wrong with me –with the way I see myself.
If I decide not to eat, then I win my first battle. Unfortunately though, I more often lose in that battle for I find myself eventually eating, not just when I am hungry, but once I had the craving or every time I just feel sad or depressed or stressed out (I am such an emotional eater L). Once that happens, there comes the tougher battle. I start to get really depressed and guilty that I have eaten. Fighting the inner depression is more difficult, I must say. In this part, the feeling of helplessness comes in, for I feel that I cant do anything to make the foods I ate out of my body again. The idea of inducing myself to vomit comes into me. But I just can’t. that would be being bulimic. I am not bulimic. I don’t want to be. My PLAN B would be to drink beer because it could make me ‘naturally’ throw out everything I ate. There is no guarantee to this, however. It only worked for me twice or thrice, I think.
i am tired with all this.
Posted by tengcorrea at 7/12/2004 04:28:00 PM
It’s been quite some time since my last update here. Hay.. I just quite don’t have the time to check the net these days except when I have to send important emails or to check the yahoogroups for class announcements.
Anyway, I’ve just seen kill bill volume 2, with jon2, yesterday. (I texted quite a number of people but unfortunately, only one agreed to come with me. Tsk tsk..im really not good at organizing ‘events’, hehe). Well, im quite disappointed with the second volume since I find most of the scenes dragging, hmm, around 90% are conversations. The movie is a talkie. I was expecting more action and blood (?, hehe, violent person). Plus – im also quite looking forward that the emphasis would be on the “mother-daughter” angle, only to be upset when The Bride’s daughter just appeared in the last chapter, say, within the last 30 minutes.
However, in fairness, the way the Bride killed bill is unpredictable. I thought her revenge would be the goriest and most brutal with the last person on the “TO-KILL” list, who is Bill. I was wrong there again. (hehe) for she did it using the “five-point-blah-blah technique” (shet, I forgot what it’s called), which bill thought pai mei (the master with the white flowing beard and white hair and white eyebrows. J ) never taught to anyone.
After the movie, I went back at the dorm and forced myself to finish my comm. 101 essay so I wouldn’t have anything to worry about this weekend (here we go again, teng. Welcome back, ms. ‘I-love-doing-things-ahead’). But I wasn’t able to do that because former pasaway roommates tara and kare came at the dorm to get some of their stuff. They decided that we go to coffeeheads, the newly opened coffeehouse (yeah right) with books, games, wireless connection, internet. So we did. they ordered coffee and chocolate cake. We played that “simpson’s board game” and “who wants to be a millionaire” (crap, what’s this? Grade 1 storytelling?). Im sorry, just bear with me because I really wasn’t in the mood last night so I really had nothing fun/exciting to narrate or whatever.
Now im not in the mood to write. (as always) obviously.
