Sunday, February 15, 2009

This is worse

I realized last night that I am way more better at handling my own pains than bearing the pain of someone I love.

My friend is wrong --- the "best friend plan" is not going to work. I just do not think I can be there for him when he is that deeply hurt because of someone else.

Since when did gratitude become this unwanted? I do not want your "thank you". I do not want your appreciation for me being there. I do not know what I want from you.

I do not want you anymore. But you are still here. And until you are here, I will naturally always -- always be there for you. Even if I hate that sad look, even I want to shut my ears from your stories, even if I hate it when you say my name.