Sunday, September 21, 2008

Rant my stress away.

I feel so sick right now. Whew. I just want to have this extreme sickness that would automatically confine me to my bed for a year - staring at the ceiling and forever waiting for good friends to come and visit me. I am exhausted.

Grr.. I hate going to work. I hate what I have been doing for work. Well, I always have. It was just that I extra hate it these days. I hate bugging people – I hate doing follow ups. I hate systems and processes and documents. I hate waiting for people’s signatures. I hate going all through all this for something I am not even sure if I really want.

Well, I am to go to a business trip first week of October (good luck to me when I haven’t even submitted our visa requirements for processing). Hell yeah, it sounds exciting. If it happens, it would be my first time in a foreign land.

But hell yeah, it does not excite me. I am scared to death. I am scared of being lost in translation, of those train signs and maps I do not know how to make sense of. I am scared of clients observing us while we do our jobs. I am scared of being gone for days and not being able to communicate with people I care about. But most especially, I am scared that this project would fail. And as early as now – I think it is failing (woo.. negative energy here I come). Fecking visa applications – I could not even jumpstart it on time.

I am just ranting. Forgive me, I just needed to let it go.