Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Happy days. Not so happy days.

"There are days when I do not feel like waking up for I am sure it is gonna be another uneventful day. But there are days like today - when I feel brave enough to simply live. I woke up today and was greeted by the very reason."

Oh well, today is one of those usual days. But last night was just extra difficult. My "freedom night" was not much a relief, unfortunately. I lost too much water last night, haha, (and the booze intake could not compensate for that).

I was such a loser. I am a loser. (Wah. This is therapy. It feels so good to write these down.) And maybe now is not the right time to lose more. Either I've had enough or there's simply nothing (more) to lose.

So I decided to just go back. Think about those days when I was happy. Just like that day when I actually thought (surprise surprise) of what I've written above. Yes I've had happy days right? I was just scared to write about them because I have this theory that words are thieves. (wow, what an accusation right? But it has happened to me a lot of times. I write about something good then a few hours later - "boom. False. A lie.")

Go back to "happy day thoughts" during unhappy days. That's an order, Teng.