Thursday, July 27, 2006

hate is such a lovely word

i want to cry right now.

i hate who i am and who i am not, and will never be.
i hate the way i think. i hate my thoughts, and yet i also hate those thoughts i cannot think of.
i hate the way i feel. i hate the realization that i 'tell' people how they should feel about me. (and they dont obey me)
i hate the way i talk which always gives the people i am talking to the idea that i dont even know what i am saying, because i am dumb.
i hate the way i write. i cannot even make well-constructed sentences for this fucking thesis.

i hate the FACT that i dont make sense.
i hate the FACT that i am living another crap day in this crap life.

this stupid mood ring again shows its deep blue color, telling me that i am lovable. who are you kidding. you're a little piece of junk.

how do you expect other people to love you when you dont even love yourself?

one truth. i hate.