Tuesday, June 06, 2006

thoughts on cheese

A break from all those corny jokes being passed around via text:

In a world where almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you know you don't need to be serious. Hang out, pretend and play with them. Have fun and stop anytime. No attachments, no commitment, no pain. Convenient, isn't it?

But at the end of the show, you know you are still yearning for something genuine. You realize that what you are really looking forward to is someone who can look at you straight in the eyes and tell you that he loves you -

..someone worth every risk of pain;
.. someone who'll stay;
..someone who'll simply make a difference.

***
Cheesy, huh? We might think it says something that we already know. But i think the "yearning" it speaks of is also something that we find hard to understand, maybe because it is not meant to be understood.

It may be true. We all feel the yearning to be loved - truly, "genuinely". And with the yearning and the looking forward, there inevitably comes the experience of joy and pain, and all the various emotions, which can only be named and described by those who feel them.

But not everyone "finds time" to name their emotions, or to describe it in detail as if writing a news lead containing the 5 W's and the H.

And I admire the people who don't, because allowing oneself to dwell and eventually drown in one's emotions is not just depressing but limiting.

You meet someone who eventually becomes important to you. He eventually becomes a "specific" in your life - there is a certain part of you that only he can understand; a certain mood of you that only he can ride; a certain happiness or pain that only he can give; a certain level of conversation that only he can carry with you.

He becomes no longer a dispensable anyone but a someone. He becomes different from other people you know; or you think he makes so much difference - he makes or breaks. And 'when he breaks', you start asking whether he's all worth it. 'When he makes', you start asking - for how long will he stay?

Not forever, you realize. then you start limiting the difference he makes in your life. You start to doubt the look in his eyes, which felt so true before. You start to think he is a lie.

Because you started asking questions. Because you started thinking about what are only supposed to be felt. Because you started to name that which are meant to be nameless.

_
Whew.. such a long entry. All because I wanted to make some sense out of a cheesy text message. :)