Thursday, June 01, 2006

saved as draft

(i rarely save my posts as drafts for i usually publish it right after writing. but this post - it took me two sessions to write it. im talking about two people. and in the same way that i cannot collect my thoughts while writing this entry, i cannot collect as well the emotions these people cause me. )

i never thought he could make me cry.. that hard.

i thought that i was ok the whole day yesterday. when my friend sep on our way home from work (during our bonding moments while waiting for a cab) =he asked me how i was - i told him, i was "feeling better".

and i was. i really was feeling better then. i got home, and was still feeling better -
until i had my expectations which i didnt get.
I hate it when questions flood my mind - questions that i know i shouldn't be asking, as these make me realize how pathetic i am.

i was hurting because of him. and yet i knew that i just need one person beside me to make it less hurtful; and that's the other he - who i believe used to love me but turned his back from me because he concluded from my stories that i 'love' the other he.

if he still loves me., i know how i am being unfair - for i am crying over someone while with him; and that is hurting him because i am shedding tears for somebody else.