Sunday, May 14, 2006

two

A few days ago, I just told a friend how much I wanted to forget that there really is nothing to remember.

Because i am again inventing. i am again lying to myself. I am 're-creating' in my mind a scene which no one knows (rather, no one but him) whether it really happened or not.

So what if I get to confirm my story is real? I still have no right to make further assumptions that that means this or that. But i guess we all would agree how difficult it is to stop what you're thinking, what you're feeling, what you're imagining.

I am confused right now. I miss him. And yet, i miss him. My day is not complete if i dont receive any text message from him. The mere thought that he doesnt remember me pains me. But everytime I close my eyes, I couldnt help but imagine.. and think about the 'other he'.

This is no mushy "i-am-torn-between-two-lovers' or 'sana-dalawa-ang-puso-ko' kind of thing. O well, I hope not. It's a bit more (or is it less?) complicated that that, haha.