Wednesday, August 03, 2005

today started not-so-good for me. our home is up for demolition. and i am serious.

yes, i just heard from my father that the hospital dormitory which served as my family's home for 17 years would soon be gone.
papa told me that they were starting to move out. and i just can't imagine them being able to move EVERYTHING - including the junk - from the dorm to our beach house in Sabang.

this isnt much surprising, with the change of provincial administration but still, when i found out about this sad news this morning, i cant help but feel shocked, sad - even somehow devastated that i wanted to cry -- but i just can't - for some reason.

i felt bad particularly for my parents. even if i have been acting a bad daughter these past few months, i still can't deny one big fact - that deep inside, behind the anger, behind the ill thoughts i have been having against them, i still care. i worry about the major shift in lifestyle my parents and my brother are having right now. of course, i would experience the same 'turn;, though in less intensity since i stay and will be (for summer) staying here in Manila most of the time.

and so just now, i felt the truth behind what my philo prof said in class yesterday " the opposite of love is not hatred but indifference."

i hate but i still care.