Thursday, July 07, 2005

this is by the way an entry i wrote on the date specified below but since my diskette drive is acting hard-to-get (yeah right, until now), i only get to post this now.

5/19/2005
breaking my promises to myself.

This entry is about how I choose to live.. and love..

***

After realizing that I am that kind of person who gets easily carried away and turns away just as easily from that abstraction called love, earlier this summer, I have made the following promises to myself and as all promises, these I intended to keep but failed to:

I promised myself that I would never be unfair again – to myself and to other people;

.. that I would never fall for someone I already know – because I wanted someone new – believing that building new friendships and relationships with new people would make me grow;

.. that I would never take seriously someone who expresses his love more through words than with actions;

...that I would never believe myself and my heart again when they tell me that ‘I am in love’

..that I would never say I love someone until I am sure – not of how I feel – but certain that everything would work and turn out smooth-sailing – happy and legal;

but all these NEVERs I did; all these promises I broke; all these ‘laws’ I disobeyed; all these plans I disregarded..

because without planning it, someone came into my life – not that I have known him only now but he came into my life in a completely new and different way – and since then, he has been causing me to break almost every rule I have set to myself…