Friday, March 25, 2005

Being a Bitch: Am I loving it?

I feel that I am being such a bitch for the past few days. Not that I have always been an angel. What I mean is that I think that I am being an extra bitch.

I hate people these days, except my family of course who I am enjoying spending time with. I hate being with people. I hate replying to people’s messages. I hate talking with people. I dislike entertaining people when they go at home. god, am I becoming an antisocial.

Well, it is probably because I just want to have more time for myself. Chillax. But hey, can I not do that with other people? since I got home, the only things I do aside from eating and sleeping are watching those old Star Cinema movies; reading Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl (yes, I only get to read this classic book now)

Worse, I think bad of other people – well, some people. I just find other people stupid –how they think, what they do, how they approach people. I know that that is bad – real bad. It most probably is projection – I seem to hate stupid people because they seem more stupid than I am and I feel threatened. Hehe. (note: do not be mistaken with the word stupid, I do not mean it in the 'harshest' sense as in bobo or engs. I just mean nonsense. )

Worst, it is Holy Week and I am doing and thinking of all these not-so-good things about my brothers and sisters. (I am serious, for God’s sake). I have all these evil thoughts bubbling in my mind. The challenge then is to effectively keep those bubbles in my mind and never let them go out or else, people would again see me as the Teng who is no longer the Teng before, someone who has changed for the worse.

WARNING: the most recent entries would be written awfully. hehe. i dont get to edit them because the internet here is reaaaallyyy slow.. sabog talaga utak ko these days, wehe.