Wednesday, February 11, 2004

February 14 is approaching. Although a certain part of history claims that this day is actually a bloody day or a day of murder, still, people cannot just refrain from the common tradition of celebrating this day. Feb 14 spells out a day of love – of roses, flowers, chocolates, of shy smiles, of music, of color, of wonder.

Lovers in particular are always looking forward to this day because this is another time of the year when they would be extra sweeter and more expressive to each other. Torpe guys also wait patiently for this day so because they seem to find something in this day that gives them extra courage to let out those hidden and probably even repressed (hehe) emotions. The day of hearts brings an air of joy - a feeling of natural highness that only those who actually feel it can describe it.

however, that just looking at the other side of it. while those who have their 'special someone' have those sweet smiles plastered on their faces, those who arent lucky or blessed enough to have that 'special someone' (at least before feb 14) have this feeling of emptiness. the day of hearts highlights further this emptiness that some might say that could be filled by presence of families and friends. yes, it is true that the collective love from family and friends is way more important and lasting than the kind of love of one gets from a girlfriend or a boyfriend. BUT, we are talking here of love in its many forms. and i think that we all want to experience being loved in different levels; in different intensities.

from the tone of the preceding paragraph, i assume you get it from which group i belong. to be honest, yes, i feel sad. i feel there's something lacking in me. it's as if there's something that i have been missing in my young years. i keep telling myself to wait. and that's the only thing to do - WAIT.

waiting is painful and tiring - especially if you're in the gray - uncertain if there really is something or somebody worth waiting for. what's even more painful is that if you're waiting for this certain person to feel the same way as you do. it's like everything is blank. your senses dont seem to work - you cant see, you cant hear, you cant feel any hint of this person's feelings towards you.

excuse me for giving out such overly sentimental thoughts. others might find the things ive said exagerrated. i think it is no longer i who is speaking - but my soul's painful experience.
-----
Valentine’s day is coming, by the way – a good excuse to be mushy and baduy.