Monday, January 26, 2004

a bad dream

i had another creepy dream last night. here's how it goes:

in my dream, i woke up. it seemed so real to me [as if i wasnt dreaming and i REALLY woke up because i was lying down in the exact position when i went to sleep.] i thought i really woke up. but not until i realized that i was in a dark room. it was only then that i have realized that i was JUST dreaming. we usually don't turn off the lights at night in our room. besides, i recognized the room not to be our room in the dormitory, it was our room in baler. [sa hometown ko.]

i couldnt breathe. my whole body was numb. i know i was shouting yet my voice could not be heard. it was as if it was only my mind that was screaming. i felt really helpless. i blinked my eyes several times to wake myself up. i wanted badly to be awake because i was so scared. but nothing was happening. i was still seeing that dark corner of our room. [good thing, i didnt see a monster or a ghost. i dont know what to do if i did.]

then i said "llane [ my roommate], gisingin mo ako'" twice. she came to wake me up. i remember she was wearing a white MEA shirt. [it was just extra weird i still could remember the details, right?] a few seconds after that, i woke up. this time, i REALLY did wake up.

the time then was 11:34. i was surprised because that means that i had only been sleeping for about less than 30 minutes.

llane was still awake that time because she was reviewing for her MATH midterms. i asked her if she heard me say something or if she woke me up. she said she didnt.

this was the third time i had this kind of dream. the first two happened sometime in october,in two consecutive nights. i hate this. i dont understand what these weird dreams are trying to tell me. am i repressed? [[woooaaa, no way.] i am probably just stressed out these past few days.

i barely remember my dreams. what's just strange is that the dreams i couldnt forget are those that scare me - those that make me not want to go to sleep again.